Forget who won big, who was snubbed, and who wore it best—here’s what we ate last night.
American Hustle Disco Fries—Potato fries covered with vegan cheese + gravy—decadently, depressingly delicious, like the 70s.
Dallas Buyers Club Sandwiches—Hickory Smoked Tofurky Deli Slices, sriracha tempeh ‘bacon’, lettuce, tomato, mayo, finished off with a little AZT sprinkled on top.
12 Years a Slave Blackberry Ink—Blackberry compote syrup to mix with any vodka, gin, or tequila drink; use in place of vermouth in a bourbon drink; or attempt to write home to seek rescue after twelve years of enslavement.
Leonardo DiCaprese Salad—Salted tofu, heirloom tomato, fresh basil—simple + classy, like the Wolf of Wall Street (note: we didn’t catch the Wolf of Wall Street; it was classy, right?).
The Great Guacsby—A story of the breakdown of avocados in the face of modern tomatoes, onions, and jalepeños based not on status + inherited position but on innovation and an ability to meet ever-changing consumer needs. Obvs.
Wolf of Walnut Lentil Dip—Smokey walnut lentil dip for the dipping of crackers, daikon chips, or Jonah Hill’s junk.
HERbed Nut Mix—A mixed herb nut medley so good you could fall in love with it and start to have an oddly socially accepted relationship with it publicly.